


Don't Want To Miss A Thing

by neoqueentitania



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/F, Family Fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, but i've decided i wanna come back to this a lot lol, please have good lesbian mommies, this was meant to be a oneshot, when two oblivious lesbians love each other very much and they decide they wanna start a family-
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoqueentitania/pseuds/neoqueentitania
Summary: Suguha and Rika finally manage to start a family of their own.
Relationships: Kirigaya Suguha | Leafa/Shinozaki Rika | Lisbeth
Comments: 15
Kudos: 19





	1. Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the title is an Aerosmith song. Yes this is my OTP. Yes I will write fluffy fics for them until I die.

“Remember, take it easy, get lots of rest and try not to stress yourself out too much. Come back to me in two weeks for a blood test.”

When they’d started IVF they’d had a vague idea of what they were getting themselves into. There would be trial and error, stress and heartbreak. But they had been confident it would work eventually.

“I just want to go for a walk,” Suguha wailed miserably from the bed.

Rika appeared in the doorway almost immediately, flailing her arms around in a panic.

“No! No moving! You can use the bathroom but that’s it! Stay there!”

“How much longer until we know?” Sugu mumbled, folding her arms over her chest and pouting.

Rika sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over to rest her forehead against her fiancée’s. They were both impatient, both a little tired from six months of failed attempts, both wary of getting their hopes up for fear of what seemed to be inevitable.

“There’s only another few days,” she said softly, gently kissing the tip of the raven-haired girl’s nose. 

Suguha sighed in contentment, “Do you think we’re gonna be good moms?”

There was nothing to say they wouldn’t be. Yui adored both of them endlessly, and they were amazing aunts. Kazuto had managed to - in partnership with several large tech companies - develop the technology to bring Yui into the real world in an almost perfect replica of her body from Sword Art Online. She had begun schooling and thrived in the real world, really was just like any other seven year old.

Suguha doted on her constantly, treating her to lunches every week and calling her every night after she moved out. She missed her family dearly, and Yui was always more than excited to speak to her aunt and tell her about her day. Kazuto had to request she call in the afternoon instead of the evening, however, saying Yui was often too excitable after their conversation and wouldn’t sleep easily.

Rika was amazing with Yui, too. The pair of them often got into mischief with Kazuto, much to Asuna and Suguha’s disdain. The three of them had most recently visited the pet shelter together, which had resulted in Rika bringing home a puppy they hadn’t planned for.

“Of course we will be,” Rika said confidently, “Yui thinks we’re fantastic aunts, a baby of our own can’t possibly be that hard to look after.”

“What if we have more than one?” Suguha gasped, “What if it’s twins? Or triplets? We could have so many kids running around, wouldn’t that be fantastic?”

Rika laughed as she adjusted herself to hold Suguha in her arms while the pair of them hugged, warm and together. 

“Let’s just make sure there’s something there in the first place,” her voice was soft and calm yet somehow laced with worry, “I guess… After that, we can start thinking about how many there are,”

Sugu nodded her head, kissing Rika’s forehead. They’d had so many failed attempts now that even talking about it felt like it was tempting fate, as if just by thinking of children their hearts would be broken again. There were always other options, they could always adopt or simply become more actively involved in Yui’s life - if that was even possible - this was their last chance before resigning themselves to the fact they could not have children.

“You want some lunch?”

“That depends, am I allowed to leave bed to eat it?” Suguha laughed as Rika pulled away, kissing her once more before leaving to the kitchen, leaving her alone in bed with her thoughts.

Her hands found their place on her stomach, moving in small motions across her tummy, humming softly to herself - and maybe to their baby.

She wondered how many days she could spend holed up in their bedroom, answering her brother’s excited questions about his future nieces and nephews with vague answers and tight-lipped smiles. He was so happy for them, it hurt to think of disappointing him when they almost inevitably told him they still weren’t pregnant.

Her mother was even more excited, constantly calling and asking about her future grandchildren, asking for updates each time they left a doctor’s surgery. She was sympathetic and understanding of their situation, lovingly assuring them that they’d have children one day, even if it wasn’t quite how they had expected.

She couldn’t speak for Rika, but this was already not what Suguha had expected. As a little girl, she’d never pictured the trial and overwhelming amounts of error it was taking her to have children. She never expected to spend most of her savings on test tubes and negative pregnancy tests only to be reassured by her partner once more that it would work eventually.

But, to be fair, she’d not exactly pictured her partner would also be a woman.

“Hey, little one?” Sugu mumbled to herself as she stared up at the ceiling, “I’m your mom, well, one of them. You have another mommy named Rika and we both love you very much, and we’ve tried so hard to get you little one. It’s been so hard, not to mention so expensive, and so, so heartbreaking. We’ve tried for months to keep you around... if you’re ever there in the first place… Just… Please be there, little one. Please make it this time,”

“Who’re you talking to, Princess?” Rika asked as she entered the room again, holding a tray of sandwiches and cupcakes for both of them to share.

“The little one,”

“Ah,” Rika nodded her head as she sat down on the bed, placing the tray down then moving her hands to comfortably rest on Suguha’s stomach.

“Hey kid,” She said awkwardly, “I don’t know if you can hear, you absolutely don’t have ears yet. I… I don’t even know if there’s anything in there. But I’m gonna be your mommy, and I already love you so much and I hope you’re healthy in there,”

Sugu leant her head back against the pillows, “You know how awkward this is going to be if we aren’t pregnant right? You’d just be talking to my tummy like an idiot.”

“Well you have a very cute tummy and I love it very much,”

“You’re a dork,”

The pair of them adjusted themselves on their bed, Rika holding a sandwich in front of Suguha’s face so she could eat it. She protested a bit, then relented, giggling at Rika’s attentiveness. She could get used to this…

But, eventually, their conversation turned serious again.

“How long do you wanna keep trying this for?” Rika asked.

“How long are you going to keep feeding me?” 

The reply was sarcastic and playful, but they both knew it masked something deeper. This was likely the last time they could afford to try IVF, considering the physical and mental strain on top of that, they doubted they’d be able to try for another round. If it didn’t take this time they’d have to put a stall on their family plans. They could always save for adoption. They were always aware of that option.

Rika traced messy shapes along Suguha’s thigh with her finger, everything from love hearts to squiggling lines to a basic house shape. It managed to put Suguha into a light sleep, Rika smiling at how peaceful she looked.

Despite nearing twenty-two, Suguha still had mostly the same baby face she’d had as a teenager when the pair had first met. It had matured slightly, but she doubted it would ever lose its softness or the twinkle in her deep midnight eyes when she laughed.

God, she loved her laugh.

Her gay yearning was interrupted by a phone ringing, Suguha’s eyes fluttering open before she scrambled to reach her mobile on the bedside table. She very nearly dropped it, her hands shaking as she stared at the contact ID.

“It’s the hospital!”

“Answer it!”

“I don’t wanna, what if it’s bad?”

“Answer it!”

“I’m scared! What if it didn’t wo-”

“Hello, Suguha’s phone, this is Rika,”

Sugu gave her an appreciative look as she switched the phone to the speaker, both of them squeezing each other’s hands so tightly their fingers turned white. They were terrified. Their hearts were beating in their throats, their eyes wear watering without even hearing a word from the doctor.

“Ah, is your wife with you?”

“Yes, I’m right here next to her,” Suguha confirmed, voice shaking with nerves.

“Well, girls, I have the results back.”

They held their breaths, suddenly feeling the entire world stop while they waited for what felt like years. It was simultaneously the most terrifying and exciting feeling they’d ever experienced. The line was quiet. The next words out of his mouth could change their lives forever. He just had to say yes. Just two little words.

“You’re pregnant.”


	2. Future Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls tell Kazuto their news, and get plenty of baby practice cuddling their puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistently updating a fic? Who’s she?

Honestly, neither of them knew what to do. It had been hours and they were both still sobbing on their bed, both holding Suguha’s stomach and cooing to their unborn child. Their unborn child that was still fighting there, who had made it far enough for everything happening to be real rather than an emotional daydream. 

“We’re gonna be moms,” Rika said quietly, eyes wide with realisation. Both girls looked at each other, then started crying all over again, holding each other and celebrating their first victory since they had first started IVF.

“We are,” Suguha nodded her head, still crying, “We’re gonna be moms, we’re gonna have a little baby running around. We’re… We’re gonna be moms!”

“Do you wanna tell your brother?” Rika asked, almost nervous.

Suguha considered it for a moment. She had promised he would be the first person to know - after the girls themselves, of course - when they managed to get pregnant, and she wanted to call him immediately to share the good news, but she was so afraid of tempting fate by telling people.

“Can we wait for a while? Maybe a week or so? Or until the first scan, just so we know it’s real,”

Rika nodded her head, “I’ll wait for as long as you need me to.”

They kept laying in silence for a while, both trying to calm down from the emotions overwhelming them. It was really amazing just how much happiness you could find in two words. Especially when those two words were all you’d wanted to hear for months.

“We can wait, we can tell him once we have a scan,” Rika mumbled, more thinking out loud than trying to hold a conversation. 

“Do you think he’ll be excited?” Suguha asked absentmindedly.

Rika laughed, “He’s been texting us nonstop for the past month asking if we’re having a baby yet, I think he’s already excited,”

Suguha thought back to all the texts her brother had sent her when they’d mentioned they were trying another round of IVF. He’d sent no less than fifty in an hour, asking them when they would get results back and asking if it was too soon to start buying the baby toys and clothes. They’d asked him to wait until they knew they were pregnant at least, but Suguha had seen a teddy bear in the bag of Kazuto’s motorcycle when he’d visited the week before.

The girls both looked at each other, then silently agreed on their next move, Suguha dialling her brother’s number in her phone and Rika bouncing on the bed in excitement. The sound of the phone dialling and Kazuto yelling in excitement.

“This is the first time you’ve called me first after I asked about the baby, it’s positive isn’t it?”

The girls smiled at each other, facing the phone, butterflies in their stomachs - and a baby, too.

“Congratulations uncle Kazuto,” Sugu’s voice broke as she giggled, sobs racking her body again. 

The line went quiet and Rika was about to ask if they’d lost their connection when Kazuto started crying and laughing, mumbling thank you’s over and over again as if they were the only words he knew.

“Thank you, thank you so much,”

“Why are you thanking us?” Rika asked, shuffling on their bed so she could sit more comfortably.

“Because,” Kazuto could hardly form a coherent sentence, too overwhelmed with excitement and pride, “I’ve been so nervous for the two of you, I’ve watched my baby sister cry month after month because she blamed herself for things she-” he sniffled, then continued, “-things she had no control over,”

“Kazuto, you don’t have to be nervous, we were gonna work something out eventually,” Suguha told him comfortingly, wishing she could give him a hug.

“Of course I had to be nervous, I’m your big brother, that’s what we’re for,” he half-joked, “I’m so happy for you. I’m so so happy. Thank you, thank you for making me an uncle and… And thank you, Rika, for making my sister happy,”

“Aww, Kazuto!” Rika hugged her fiancée tighter, nuzzling her face in her shoulder to try and hide her blush. She was glad she made Sugu happy, she meant the world to her. She was both her lover and her best friend and Rika felt that if she lost her she really would give up on love forever.

“Oh! Can we tell Yui?” Kazuto asked excitedly, Suguha could practically hear his grin.

“Not yet, we want to wait until we have our first scans before we tell people. We told you first because, well, you’re kinda… the most excited future uncle we’ve ever seen,”

Kazuto scoffed, “Am I not allowed to be happy for my baby sister getting her dream come true?”

Before either of the girls could offer a witty comeback, there was a crash, then screaming, and Kazuto quickly apologised, saying Yui was trying to teach herself to skateboard and had fallen. He said a final thank you and congratulations to the girls, then hung up to tend to his daughter, leaving Suguha and Rika laying in bed, still in shock.

Before long, shock gave way to excitement, both of them talking about how they’d decorate their nursery and what clothes they were going to dress their future baby in.

“You realise Kazuto’s gonna dress them up in little leather jackets, right?” Rika sighed, daydreaming about their baby running around with their uncle, both of them in leather jackets.

“As long as he doesn’t dress our baby like he’s taking them to a funeral, I think we’ll be okay,” Suguha giggled in response.

She looked down at her tummy again. Was there really a whole life growing in there? Was she really going to have a baby in the next year? 

She felt herself as a young girl again, playing dolls with Kazuto, both of them in princess dresses with teacups of orange juice and ice cubes. Their baby dolls had been carefully dressed and placed into their chairs, then, after tea time, Suguha had taken them from their seats and gently placed them into her little toy stroller, pushing them along the hallway floor.

As a teenager she had seen her brother and Asuna with Yui and her heart had ached for something like that, a baby of her own to love and protect and a partner to love and support. Every moment she spent with Yui felt like practice for the moments she’d spend with her own child someday, braiding their hair and helping them pick cute outfits to wear out.

There were so many times her brother had caught her online early hours of the morning playing with Yui, or simply lying next to her in bed watching her protectively. She loved her, not in the same way her parents did, but she loved her with all her heart. That was her niece, her brother’s precious child, and she’d do everything she could to be a good aunt for her.

She also liked thinking she was getting some practice in.

“Are you okay, Princess?” Rika asked, nudging Suguha gently to shake her from her daydream.

“Just thinking, I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” She mused. 

“You’re gonna be an amazing mommy,” Rika assured her, “And, y’know I might be a little biased, but I think you’ll be a pretty cute pregnant lady too,”

“E- eh? I won’t be! I’ll be all moody and big and emotional and-“

“And perfect,” Rika moved to kiss her nose gently, “My amazing, perfect fiancée and our amazing, perfect baby,”

Suguha readjusted herself to kiss Rika’s lips, “Our baby… I like the sound of that,”

Her kisses were trailed down Rika’s jawline, then her neck, then stopped so Suguha could rest her head on her shoulder while Rika ran her fingers through her hair.

“You know what else I like the sound of?” She mumbled softly.

Rika hummed in acknowledgement, fingers delicately twirling a lock of soft raven hair, then softly kissed the top of Suguha’s head. 

“Cake for dinner and cuddling with our puppy,”

At so much as the mention of her, a very excitable shiba inu bounced into their bedroom, tail wagging as she jumped onto their bed, rushing between both girls as she tried to decide who to cuddle first.

“Lily! You’re gonna be a big sister!” Suguha scooped the small dog into her arms, kissing her little head and cuddling her to her chest.

“We’re having a baby Lily! You’ll get to play with them and cuddle them and- well, maybe not lick them, but you’ll get to protect them. You’re gonna protect our baby, right girl?”

Lily wagged her tail as if to confirm Rika’s idea, then turned her attention back to smothering Suguha with licks and cuddles. The cuddles were returned, the licks were not.

So the happy parents-to-be and their fur baby cuddled into the evening, at which point Rika ordered a cake for the girls to share - a cheesecake with strawberries and pink roses on top. 

“This would be perfect if the baby was here,” Suguha yawned later in the night, full of cake.

“Don’t go talking like that already, we have another nine months to go before we can meet them,” Rika laughed.

“Yeah,” Sugu sighed blissfully, curling up in Rika’s arms, her head on the brunette’s chest, “I think they’ll be the best nine months of our lives,”


	3. First Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suguha suffers morning sickness for the first time, Rika cries over a broken cabinet. Rika sends a text to her father, though she's certain he'll never answer. Would he even still remember her? Would he even still want to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated leaving this ending in for like 2 hours, but I want to add it because I know how I want it to turn out and how I want to resolve that subplot, so it's here. *cries*

“This is gonna be the worst nine months of our lives!” 

Suguha was sitting on the bathroom floor, clutching her stomach and wailing. It had been five wondrous weeks since they’d received the phone call that they were pregnant, she and Rika had hardly even had a chance to process it. But it was all becoming increasingly more real and slightly less magical now that Suguha was suffering her first bout of morning sickness.

“Are you doing okay?” Rika asked softly as she walked into the bathroom, holding a glass of water out for her fiancée.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sugu smiled weakly and took the glass almost too eagerly, sipping at the water carefully to not make herself sick again. 

Rika sat down on the floor next to her, gently resting a hand on Suguha’s leg. The air was cold and the room was dimly lit. It couldn’t have been earlier than six in the morning - neither of them had checked the time when Suguha had rushed to the bathroom a few minutes earlier. 

Six weeks pregnant. She’d made it six weeks, their baby still growing and surviving. It was further than they’d ever made it before. Everything was going perfectly, their first scan was scheduled for the following week and everything suggested they’d see a healthy baby on the little screen.

Suguha’s hand moved across her stomach for a moment, “Hey little one, I love you very much and I’m super excited to meet you, but can you let mommy rest a little before this happens tomorrow? I still have work in a few hours,”

“Maybe you should call in, I don’t think you’d be able to manage an entire day on your feet,” Rika suggested.

She was worried. They’d done everything they could to be safe, Suguha was basically in bed every second she was home and Rika had begged her to take as many sick days as she possibly could. Working a job that required her to constantly be on her feet moving around a store couldn’t be good for the baby, and doctor’s had told them to take it easy until the second trimester.

“If I call in again my boss is gonna get suspicious,” Suguha sighed, “Besides, if we’re gonna have a baby we need money. For baby stuff. Little baby clothes. Baby food. Diapers. Do you know how much comes out of those things? We’ll need a lot of diapers. I’m tired,”

Rika patted her shoulder comfortingly, nodding her head in almost-understanding. They did need money - and lots of it, if they were being realistic - but Suguha and the baby’s health was supposed to be the top priority. She dreaded what would happen if Sugu pushed herself too far.

“I think I’m good now,” Suguha slowly stood up, took a deep breath as if to give the baby one last chance to make her sick again, then held Rika’s hand as they walked to their kitchen. She was starving, though the morning’s events may have spoiled her appetite the slightest bit. Maybe a plain slice of toast would be okay.

“Sit down, I’ll take care of everything,” Rika kissed the top of her fiancée’s head, gently pushing her shoulders until she sat down in a dining chair, “Do you want cereal? Or toast? We need to go grocery shopping tonight. Do you have cravings yet?”

“I don’t know, I want cake. Have you fed Lily?” 

The puppy trotted over to Suguha, jumping at her feet and licking at her fingertips when she leant down to pet her. She was excitable and very cuddly, constantly hanging around the girls in hopes one of them would pick her up and snuggle her or slip her a piece of food. It wasn’t uncommon to walk into their home and find the three of them cuddled together watching TV - Rika resting her head on Suguha’s shoulder, Lily happily dozing away on Rika’s lap.

Though, Rika had noticed the past few days Lily had been more eager to snuggle into Suguha’s stomach, sniffing it and gently pawing at it, like she knew that her new human sibling was growing there. 

“I’ve fed her, she still has food in her bowl. She’s just being a goof and trying to get hugs,” Rika laughed, standing on her tiptoes to get the jam jar from the top shelf of their kitchen cabinets. Really, Suguha needed to stop putting everything so high. It was embarrassing to be a grown woman who needed a step to reach half of her cooking supplies.

“That’s because she knows she’s my little baby, don’t you Lily?”

Suguha picked up the small dog, who squirmed in her arms until she got comfortable, licking her face and sniffing at everything she could. She was adorable, constantly making the girls laugh and “aww” at whatever mischief she got herself into. Their social media pages hardly went a day without puppy pictures or videos - they were told their niece liked them very much and had started begging her parents for a puppy of her own.

“Lily’s not gonna be the only baby pretty soon,”

Suguha held the dog with one hand, the other migrating to her tummy again. There was a baby there. She still couldn’t quite process it. She’d be able to call herself a mother and walk a baby around the park, and dress them in little outfits, or cuddle them to sleep, sing them lullabies, play games with them. Everything was coming together. Everything was finally going right.

“Breakfast! I hope you can stomach jam right now,”

Rika set the plates down on the dining table, sitting down next to Suguha and begging to munch on her toast. Meanwhile, Suguha took a tentative sniff and slowly bit down on it, still cautious about her morning sickness. She had to admit, this was one part of pregnancy she wasn’t looking forward to in the slightest.

“Mm, thank you!” 

“You’re welcome, just eat carefully, don’t choke,”

The girls ate their breakfast, both talking about their plans for the day. Suguha had work until three and Rika had a mostly-free day that she intended to spend cleaning the house and organising the kitchen. Hopefully, she’d be able to put everything on a lower shelf.

“We need to plan a wedding still,” Suguha whined, letting her head drop against the table. 

Rika groaned, “Can’t we just buy animal onesies and give each other ring pops? That seems much more efficient,”

“That sounds more fun, too,” 

Sugu reached out to hold Rika’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before she stood up, announcing she was going to shower and change for work. Rika asked if she needed any help showering, but her idea was quickly shut down. She guessed she should have seen that coming.

She finished her toast, clearing both plates into the sink and bending down to the cabinet beneath it to get the cleaning supplies. The latch on the cabinet door was broken, she needed to fix that at some point.

“I’ll need to buy a baby lock for here too, there’s a lot of chemicals here,” she thought out loud to herself.

Then she felt her heart skip a beat. She had to babyproof the house. She got to prepare her house for a baby, make things safe, set up a nursery, to add a baby seat to her car, to finally fix that broken step on their front porch. There was going to be a baby in their home.

It must have been an odd sight for Suguha to talk in on - Rika sobbing on their kitchen floor, her hair tied up messily in a bun slowly slipping from on top of her head, mumbling to herself a to-do list, punctuating each chore with a happy sob.

“Are you okay?” She asked, dropping to the floor next to her.

Rika nodded, laughing at herself, “I’m fine, I’m really happy. I’m so happy. Thank you for doing this,”

“What did I do?”

Her question wasn’t answered. Instead, she was pulled into a tight hug, the pair lightly falling back on the floor, holding each other and laughing on their kitchen floor, though Suguha didn’t quite know what she was laughing at. They were in love, they were happy, was there a reason to laugh with her lover?

“I love you,” Rika mumbled, kissing her love’s cheek, “I love you, I love you, I love you,”

“I love you too,” Suguha moved to kiss Rika’s lips softly, then pulled away, laughing again, “How’d your hair get so messy? Do you want me to tie it up for you?”

The brunette nodded, gasping for breath as the pair sat up. She watched Suguha disappear out of the kitchen for a moment before she returned, a hairbrush in one hand and a big pink ribbon in the other.

“I thought you might miss your pink hair from ALO,”

Rika smiled, a little sadly. They hadn’t been able to play nearly as much as they’d wanted to recently. Rika was taking on as many extra shifts as she could get, while Suguha was avoiding their friends like the plague to avoid spilling their news to everyone early - she was sure Kazuto had told at least Asuna, though.

“A little,” she admitted before she let her head fall back a little, enjoying the feeling of Suguha’s fingers combing through her hair while she tried to figure out exactly where Rika’s hairband had slipped to. 

Her hair had grown a little past her shoulders the past year, making her look a little more mature than she had as a teenager, though she couldn’t see it herself. She still thought she looked a little too young for her early twenties, her face just a little too soft, especially for someone about to be a mother.

“Our kids are gonna be so cute,” the brunette sighed contentedly.

She couldn’t wait to see what the baby would look like. They’d look adorable regardless of which parent they took after but Rika did desperately hope the baby had Suguha’s eyes. Well, that they’d have the Kirigaya family’s eyes, at least.

She could still remember nervously sitting with Suguha and Kazuto, telling him that they were trying for a baby. He’d been confused at first, as they guessed he would have been, but they’d elaborated that they were trying IVF. Suguha’s hands shook while she asked if he’d consider being their donor, with Rika being the other donor. He’d agreed without a second of hesitation.

“Do you think the baby’s gonna have your eyes?”

Suguha blushed, “I hoped that they had yours. You have gorgeous eyes, they’re so pretty. I hope they have my hair though, yours is a mess,”

She tied the ribbon around Rika’s hair. It was a lot neater now, in a loose bun on top of her head, the pink ribbon just underneath the bun. She looked cute.

“Thank you, Princess, you’ll do amazing at doing our baby’s hair for school,” Rika commented as they stood up from the floor.

“I hope so,” she sighed, “I have to go to work, I love you and I’ll text you when I’m there so you know we’re both safe,”

Rika bent down, hugging Sugu’s tummy. She still wasn’t showing, of course, but they both got butterflies thinking of the day when she would have a small bump, like final concrete proof that everything was happening.

“Be safe,” Rika kissed Suguha quickly on the cheek, “I love you too, please be careful,”

Suguha gave Lily a pat on the head, then left for work, waving goodbye from her car as she backed out of their small driveway. Rika waved her off from their front step, then went back inside to get her toolbox. She had a lot of preparations to make.

Apparently, repair work was a lot more difficult than she’d first anticipated. She banged her fingers with a hammer at least four times trying to fix their step, the wooden planks were loose from foot traffic the past two years.

The cabinet door was a slightly easier fix, a lot less painful, too. She did accidentally cut her hand with the flat end of the screwdriver she used, though. A bandaid fixed it quickly, though. They’d have to get more of those at some point, too, hopefully in some more fun designs. She liked the cat ones the best.

She added them to their grocery list, along with dishwashing liquid, bread, milk, dog food and baby safety locks. Just seeing them so casually alongside everything else made her want to cry. It was early, they both knew that. They still weren’t in the safe zone - was there really a safe zone? - but they were out of the hopeless zone. They’d made progress. 

They’d made a baby.

She took her phone from the table, opening a text to her father. She sighed as she typed it out, knowing she’d get no answer. Hell, the last time she’d messaged him months earlier the message had bounced back. She guessed she shouldn’t have been surprised if he’d changed his number. After all, it was years since she’d heard from him and she doubted he was particularly excited about any form of contact with her after the last time they’d spoken.

‘Hey, dad. It’s me, Rika, your daughter. My partner and I tried IVF again. We’re expecting this time. I know you won’t see this, but I thought you’d want to know you had a grandchild on the way. We miss you.’

She didn’t know what she was hoping to achieve. Maybe she was trying to fix her image of him, trying to salvage a recollection of him that she’d had when she was a small child. Maybe she was still in denial of what had happened. Maybe, deep down, she wanted one final push, one final explosion of anger, the final thing to make her block him and move on with her life. She really couldn’t place what she was hoping for.

She just desperately hoped that he’d see it. She didn’t expect him to, she didn’t really expect him to care. He had a new family now, a new daughter and two new sons, from what she’d heard through friends of friends. Maybe they’d given him grandchildren a lot sooner than she’d been able to. She didn’t know and part of her didn’t particularly want to know. She and her mother had done just fine without him. He’d made his choice and she knew she couldn’t change that.

But she still wanted to try.


End file.
